Everyone I talk to about my travels asks, "So Eddy, what was your favorite destination?" and I never quite know how to answer. Every place I visited was worth visiting. Some I would go back to, some I would not, but every one offered a new experience that I could never have had back home. So at the risk of leaving myself with nothing to talk about at cocktail parties, I'll attempt to go a little ways towards answering this ever-popular question. The short answer, of course, is "everywhere." The long answer takes the form of the Eddy Awards.

Before proceeding onto the awards, a few disclaimers: the following is my opinion, and while my opinion is generally right, yours may differ, if, for example, you're an idiot. Secondly, only places I've been to qualify for the awards. So although French Guiana may have wonderful cuisine, it doesn't win an Eddy since I've never been there. Thirdly, I've intentionally excluded the United States from contention, as it's a little to close to home, being, in fact, my home. Lastly, I've given the term "place" a pretty flexible definition. It can mean a city, a region, or a country, depending on whatever I feel like.

Without further ado, here are the Eddys:

Best food

Italy. No question about it, real Italian-Italian food, wine, and coffee are the best in the world, at all parts of the economic spectrum. For a euro or two, you can find a tramezzino or panino or gelato to knock your socks off. You can also break out the wallet and dine in luxury on exquisitely creative dishes with no comparison anywhere else. Italian-whatever food is available all over the place, of course, but it's never quite the same, for some reason.

Some countries, like France, offer spectacular delectables at the high end of the spectrum, but do nothing for the paupers like me. Others, like Thailand, have deliciously affordable delights everywhere you turn, but are lacking in the luxury department (or rather, the high end food is not significantly better than the street-fare). Italy covers it all.

Stay tuned for my next post on my favorite Italian dishes.

Worst food

Egypt. Just the word koshary sends shivers down my spine.

Most beautiful women

Ah, women. The world is warmed by their wondrous beauty, with their soft cheeks, curvaceous bodies, and smiles that can stop any man's heart. Is there any joy more profound than the appreciation of an elegant lady? I firmly and deeply believe beauty can be found in women of every culture, in any location in the world. That said, those Spaniards are hot. Barcelona wins, with an honorable mention for Naples, Italy, though I'm looking forward to visiting Columbia some day.

Ugliest women

What a mean, degrading category. Well, what can I do? I don't make the rules. Oh, yeah, I do. Anyway, Egypt wins hands-down. Yes, it's hard to tell under their veils and robes, so there may have been some overlooked lookers, but overall I was underimpressed. No wonder everyone is so unhappy there.

Best prices

I traveled to different places at different times, so it's hard to gauge this one accurately. In general, though, the poorer a country is, the cheaper it is to visit. The American dollar is no longer as strong as it once was, so this consideration has become more important. I remember being extremely relieved at the prices in Thailand after the sky-high currencies of Europe and the constant Egyptian haggling for baksheesh. That feeling may have just been in comparison to where I had been most recently, and touristy places like Ko Samui did extract a premium, so an objective comparison is in order, giving a slight edge to Costa Rica. I stayed in Jacò, at a nice hotel 50 yards from the beach with private bath and a swimming pool for about $10 per night. It's hard to beat that.

Worst prices

Switzerland, especially Zurich. I'm scared to go to England these days, though, with the pound at about two dollars. It wasn't nearly that bad when I was there.

Best natural beauty

This is a tough one. The world has a lot scenery to offer. Ireland with it's patchworks of green, green, and verdant shades of green. The more rugged terrain of Sicily glimpsed through a bus window in the brief moments of good weather I was graced with. The Cinque Terre on the Italian mainland. The limestone islets and tropical beaches of Thailand. The volcanic wonders of Costa Rica. The mountain-meets-lake contrasts and reflections of Geneva. Worth seeing and unforgettable, all of them.

It's almost impossible to choose one winner, but I'm going to go with Australia, simply because in the brief time I was there I was amazed by what I know was only a tenth of what the continent has to offer. Mountains? Check. Desert? Check. Rain forest? Check. Beaches? Got them too, plus supposedly there's a barrier reef somewhere. I don't remember what it's called, but I hear it's great.

Best historic sites

Italy had the Romans, but before Romulus and Remus even knew what a she-wolf was the Egyptian civilization had come and gone, then come back, collapsed again, and come back for one more encore. The Roman ruins may be better preserved, but they probably wouldn't even be there if the Egyptians hadn't set an example and provided obelisks for stealing. Egypt wins. (Yay!)

Best weather

Basically anywhere hot. I like the sun, and I don't mind sticky humid weather, within reason. I'm going to have to go with either Costa Rica, Puerto Rico or the Dominican Republic for this one. They all offer tropical temps, with the possibility of escaping into higher elevation or the ocean if it becomes too unbearable. PR probably gets a slight edge, just because air conditioning is more readily available if necessary.

Best beaches

A lot of competition in this category, too. The 75 mile beach on Fraser Island, Australia, is literally 75 miles. Swimming is not recommended there, though, since the riptides and sharks can cause you to die, which is no fun. Costa Rica has stunning, if hard on the feet, black sand on it's volcano-influenced coasts. Ko Pah-gnang, Thailand, has raucous nightlife in the bars under the stars on the sand by the sea.

Where ever land and water meet, we call that a coast, and where there are coasts there are often beaches, and that happens quite a bit. And yet there is a clear winner. I'm hesitant to publish it here, for fear of ruining this place's finest quality, its isolation. I will anyway, just because I love all you weblog-readers. The winner is Vieques, Puerto Rico. It's an island about the size of Martha's Vineyard off the coast of Puerto Rico (also an island, of course), making it hard to get to. Adding to its loneliness is the island's history. It was used as a United States naval bombing range until May, 2003. Now I'm no J. Willard Marriott, but I would guess that loud explosions, flying shrapnel, unexploded munitions, and environmental toxins don't make for a good place to build a resort. For that reason, the island is almost totally undeveloped.

Thankfully, the bombing stopped in response to vigorous protests by locals and others. Some beaches are still closed off, but a few have undergone a multi-million dollar clean-up and are open to the public. Most of these are only accessible by four-wheel-drive, but once you get there, are instantly worth the trouble. Breathtakingly gorgeous sand, palm trees, green tropical water. (Yes, the water glows in the dark, but that's the bioluminescent plankton and not leftover bomb material. Really.) And not a soul to be seen for literally miles in either direction. Get there before the developers do.

Best language

Che posso dire? Se c'è una lingua perfetta nel mondo, si chiama "italiano." Solo in italiano, gli insulti suonano come poesia. In tedesco, invece, per esempio, la frase "ti amo," che dev'essere la frase più bella in ogni lingua, è brutissima: Ich liebe dich. Anche se imparare l'italiano è difficilissimo, con un sacco di tempi, preposizioni, e modi di dire, vale la pena perchè questa lingua è veramente musica.

Best music

The latino countries have salsa, merengue, reggaeton, and so forth. Italy has opera. The Irish culture is intimately tied to its traditional culture, even while bands like U2 innovate endlessly. Australian cities have a lively music scene in the bars and pubs. But England gave us the Beatles, Led Zeppelin, the Rolling Stones, and it's where Hendrix got his start. I'd say that's enough (albeit barely) to forgive it for the Spice Girls and Oasis. England wins.

Best nightlife

Imagine a country with high unemployment, a stagnant economy, and flies everywhere, that still manages to sleep all day and party all night. This is a country where in many places you get a free greasy snack with every drink purchase, and yet the locals are almost universally fit and svelte, seemingly without trying. A country that seems to be constantly in a state of either fiesta or siesta. Where giant papier-mache puppets dance through the streets at four A.M. and locals form human towers just because. Where you can idle under the moon and sip a caña of beer, or dance the night away in a discoteca. Where dinner starts at 10 P.M. and work stops for four hours in the middle of the afternoon. This country exists, and if you haven't guessed by now, it's called España!

Winner: Spain.

Best art

Well, if you like Michelangelo, Carravaggio, Raphael, Bernini, Leonardo, or C. Edmund Sullivan, you'd have to lean towards Italy. Then you'd remember all the unknown and uncredited ancient Roman artists and architects who created works that have barely been matched even today, and you'd tip over. Italy wins.

Best place

Those who know me don't need to ask this question. The winner is Rome. For too many reasons to list.